Describing the behavior of an Italian is no easy task. While it’s true that certain traits unify them, it’s equally true that every Italian is distinctly shaped by their geographic roots. Each region – indeed, each city – carries with it a unique language, singular customs, and its own nuanced way of life.
Take, for instance, a Sicilian and a Lombard: their mannerisms are worlds apart. I’ll try to show you why. Keep in mind: the playful, exaggerated portrait I offer here is intended to humorously highlight the differences that make Italy such a rich and varied tapestry. At the end of the day, the Sicilian and the Lombard are simply two faces of the same beautiful coin – two extremes, north and south, that ultimately come together.
The Greeting
The Sicilian: When a Sicilian greets you, it’s like witnessing a full diplomatic affair – hugs, kisses on both cheeks, five minutes of friendly chatter, all wrapped up with a “See you soon” that could stretch on for hours.
The Lombard: He’ll acknowledge you with a brief nod or a quick, no-frills “Ciao”. If you’re lucky enough to receive a handshake, consider it a sign of profound affection.
The Dialect
The Sicilian: Even when he’s furious, he’ll switch to dialect, leaving you scrambling for Google Translate. It’s like hearing a song with the lyrics all mixed up, but somehow, it still sounds melodic.
The Lombard: Dialect only comes out when he’s angry, and it sounds like a robotic malfunction: “Sè? Sont ammò chì? Vai a cà, va là!”. It feels as though he’s barking commands at a malfunctioning machine-learning algorithm.
Punctuality
The Sicilian: If he says he’ll arrive at 10, feel free to take your time, grab a coffee, maybe even go for a leisurely walk. By 10:30, he’s still deciding which shirt to wear, and if you call to check in, he’ll tell you, “Relax, I’m on my way…”.
The Lombard: When he says he’ll be there at 10, he’s already at the meeting spot by 9:50, coffee in one hand, phone in the other, squeezing productivity into every last minute.
Beach vs. Mountain
The Sicilian: He could practically live on the beach year-round. Tanning is his passion, and the darker his skin, the prouder he becomes. If you suggest a summer trip to the mountains, he’ll eye you suspiciously: “The mountains? Why would I go there when we’ve got all this sea?”.
The Lombard: He has an aversion to the beach because, well, he hates summer and despises the heat. If you spot him at the seaside, you’ll instantly recognize him by his fair skin, shielded from the sun under a beach umbrella, trying to avoid a sunburn. If it weren’t for his wife and kids, he’d escape to the mountains every summer.
Parties
The Sicilian: Every party is a grand occasion. The feast begins with appetizers and doesn’t end until the second helping of dessert after midnight, accompanied by dancing, singing, and maybe a relative reciting an impromptu poem.
The Lombard: For him, a party is a strictly timed affair, from 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM. A couple of glasses of wine, some polite conversation, and by 10:00 sharp, it’s time to head home because tomorrow is a workday. Maximum duration: 1 hour and 45 minutes.
The Wedding
The Sicilian: It’s an 8-hour epic, complete with 300 guests, a feast worthy of royalty, and wedding favors that resemble pieces of art. By mid-evening, someone inevitably pulls out an accordion, and before you know it, everyone’s singing “Ciuri Ciuri” in joyful unison (here’s a video for context).
The Lombard: It’s a well-timed, no-nonsense event, with a balanced menu and a DJ who packs up precisely at 11 PM. Wedding favors are minimalist: a small box with a single sugared almond and a handwritten “thank you”.
The Bread
The Sicilian: Bread is sacred, an essential at every meal. It’s always crispy and fresh from the oven, best served with a drizzle of olive oil, a pinch of salt, and maybe a smashed cherry tomato on top. Insult the bread, and you insult all of Sicily. Even if… probably the best Italian bread is the one from Altamura, in Apulia.
The Lombard: Bread is, well, just bread. If it’s there, great. If it’s not, no big deal. It might even be a bit stale, but as long as there’s polenta on the table, he’s content.
Free Time
The Sicilian: Free time means a bustling social life – strolling through town, endless conversations, a gelato with friends, and perhaps a trip to the market to scout out some fresh olives.
The Lombard: Free time means hitting the gym, going for a run, or catching up on paperwork. Rest? That’s not in the cards: “There’s always something to do!”.
Work
The Sicilian: Not exactly his favorite thing. It’s not in his DNA. His talents lie more in the art of eating, sleeping, and, well, living life to the fullest.
The Lombard: He lives and breathes work. Every minute of the day is optimized for maximum productivity. His motto? “Lavurà, lavurà, lavurà” (work, work, work).
The Café (Bar)
The Sicilian: The bar is his second home, the ultimate spot to meet friends and play scopa or briscola, even with strangers. For some, hanging out at the bar feels like a full-time job.
The Lombard: He goes to the bar only out of necessity – to grab a quick breakfast or a coffee – and stays just for the time strictly necessary. Speaking of coffee: do you know why in Italy espresso is served with a glass of water on the side? Here’s why.
Hospitality
The Sicilian: Hosting friends in Sicily, especially first-timers, is a passion. Without saying a word, he’ll organize every single day of your stay. Hospitality? More like a gentle kidnapping.
The Lombard: Hospitality is a chore to be dealt with swiftly. If he picks you up from the airport, consider yourself lucky. Ask him to do something together, and he’ll likely say, “Sorry, I have to work”.
Lunch Break
The Sicilian: No matter how much time he has, his lunch break always stretches to a couple of hours, featuring a hearty pasta dish (like this one!) and a cannolo for dessert.
The Lombard: He’d skip lunch if it weren’t necessary. To save time, he often eats at his desk, packing a light meal in the “schiscetta” (from the Milanese word “schiscià”, meaning “to press”, since the food is crammed into a container).
